Enlightenment in five easy steps?
Here at Sounds True, we have seasonal meetings (called “creative direction” meetings) where our creative team gathers to brainstorm (and argue—in a constructive way, of course) about how best to position each one of our new titles. By creating a position for a title we are launching it into the world as a new and unique being—what it will look, sound, and feel like; what makes it unique from every other title that has ever been born.
The writers at Sounds True have historically advocated describing each program in terms of its benefits to the customer. The idea is that people want to gain something—intelligence, peace of mind, greater health—when they spend their money on inner learning and spiritual development. Well, those “benefits” sound good (they sure do!), but here’s the rub: The spiritual journey is often more about loss than gain, as much about embracing our darkness as it is about basking in the light. Advertising that promises the spiritual journey will be easy, fun, and always filled with light and bliss has some very real problems attached. Specifically:
It makes us misunderstand and reject our own experiences of “descent.”
Experiences of “descent” are those times when we need to be deep within ourselves—when we are called to inner silence and inquiry, when we are letting go of something that needs to be let go of, when we are grieving, when we are wrestling with and sorting out our priorities, when we are grappling with physical illness. These times of descent are part of life and are intrinsic to the spiritual journey. They are not times of failure or of being off course; they are passageways that need to be traversed so we can emerge with greater depth of being and, dare I say, wisdom.
If we ingest advertising that says that the spiritual journey is all about peace and feeling positive all of the time, then we are prone to believing that we are somehow “failing” during such times of descent. We will reject ourselves and our experience; we will actually pull away from the initiatory experiences we are having that hold so much richness and information, and we will instead stay on the surface of our lives and wonder why we feel like something is missing. Without the descent there is no real ascent; it is like wanting all of the vitality and energy of springtime but being unwilling to experience winter.
We are not prepared for the real work of the spiritual journey.
If we believe that the spiritual journey is quick and easy (like following the instructions on the back of a bag of microwave popcorn), we will not be prepared for the real work, the “heavy lifting” of genuine transformation. What I mean by “genuine transformation” is a process by which everything that is false in us—our emotional defenses, limiting beliefs, and self-structures—are seen and released, and a new unbounded and mysterious sense of self emerges which is fluid and ever-changing. Of course, this heavy lifting is more about “un-doing” than doing. But in my experience, when it comes to letting go of my need for power and control and safety, as well as my need to be universally well-liked by others, this process is quite a process indeed!
The problem with believing that the spiritual journey does not require real and sustained work is similar to the problem that emerges when a partner in a love relationship believes that the relationship should continuously unfold beautifully and perfectly without either partner needing to work at it. When tough spots emerge, there is no willingness to engage, to go deeper. The real treasures, those that can only be discovered through sustained engagement, remain hidden.
We lecture others about our theories of happiness instead of meeting them in their unique experience.
If we believe that the spiritual journey is formulaic, that there is a one-size-fits-all series of easy steps to follow, then when other people are suffering, we insist on sharing with them our winning formula. I do not believe this is what people really need or want from us when they are in emotional pain.
Recently, I spent three days in a studio in Madison, Wisconsin with Parker Palmer recording a series of talks about “The Undivided Life.” He is a beautiful writer and educator and someone who has written courageously (and now spoken courageously!) on the topic of depression. Parker himself has gone through three periods of clinical depression (he describes the most recent experience which he underwent during his sixties as “becoming the dark”). One thing he learned in these periods was how people could best relate to him in ways that were truly helpful instead of simply driving him deeper into isolation. He named this ideal form of relating as being “neither invasive nor evasive” and he compared it to how a dying person might want to receive a visitor—the visitor would not try to “fix” the dying person (for who can fix the fact that we are going to die and this is actuality the situation we are all in?) but would instead be at the bedside with total presence and a full heart, neither invasive nor evasive.
If we know that the spiritual journey is mysterious, complex, and totally individual (not reduced to a series of simplistic steps) then we can be with each other in this way—present, open, attentive, warm, and available. We can be fellow travelers instead of salespeople with one-size-fits-all answers.
The irony here is that the spiritual journey is the most exciting, the most rewarding, the most benefit-packed focus we could ever have for our lives. I remember at one point approximately seven years ago speaking with spiritual teacher Reggie Ray about my own ambitious nature. I wondered if a life focused on inner growth could ever really satisfy me. His comment was that the inner journey would nourish me and fulfill me in ways outer accomplishments never could—that instead of feeling drained and empty from working in the world (even with the purpose of being of benefit to others), I would feel overflowing from the inside out with a sense of richness and fulfillment.
So yes, we can describe Sounds True titles with benefit language galore, but we need to be careful we never sell the spiritual journey as something that is easy, quick, formulaic, and without challenge. That would be a serious disservice. As Parker Palmer says, there is no resurrection without death. As I see it, our real job at Sounds True is to communicate the great glory of dying.
–Tami Simon
Publisher
Tags: enlightenment, sounds true, spiritual journey, spirituality, tami simon, transformation
January 13th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Great Blog! A must read for All on the Spiritual Path!
I love this one sentence from Tami:
“If we know that the spiritual journey is mysterious, complex, and totally individual (not reduced to a series of simplistic steps) then we can be with each other in this way—present, open, attentive, warm, and available. We can be fellow travelers instead of salespeople with one-size-fits-all answers.”
I say Yes and Right on! and Let’s keep learning, loving and growing together while we value each of our own unique paths!
January 13th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
As an addict, I can appreciate what you have to say about the heavy lifting. I tried to convey exactly this message, and a bit more, in my book. It’s refreshing to read that people in the business of selling spiritual tools, or at least the medium for them, are conscious of what it really takes to grow spiritually, and that it’s much more about what we give up than what we gain.
Bravo.
-d
Darren Littlejohn
the 12-Step Buddhist - Atria/Beyond Words, March ‘09
http://the12stepbuddhist.com
January 14th, 2009 at 12:39 am
Tami, beautifully articulated. When we start to embrace the ‘dark’ or ‘painful’ aspects of ourselves and/or our journey and see it as part of the experience and growth, it loses its power over you..or the perception it is ‘bad’.
I’ve learned that when I am going ‘down’, feeling flat or something crappy has happened, I am about to have a breakthrough, so now these things excite me.
Love that you have drawn this to people’s attention. I will put a link out to my network.
Love light and laughter
Julie Ann Storr
Chief Inspiration Officer
nibbana.com.au
Facebook: Julie Ann Storr
Twitter: @julieannstorr
January 14th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Great post! It alludes to an issue that I have been thinking a lot about: the intersection of consumerism and spirituality. An argument could be made that someone who approaches spirituality in terms of gaining benefits is ultimately approaching it in a consumer/hedonistic/satisfying-of-needs way; effectively enacting the Burger King philosophy of “Have it your way! Get satisfaction!” Certainly, Burger King rejects any notion of “descent”, and may actually be about escaping from descent into bliss. Isn’t it the case that the picture of spirituality as uniformly blissful is precisely the message of modern consumer capitalism; and representing spirituality this way is the perfect method of “spiritualizing” consumption?
If we say that every spiritual path is totally individual and unique, are we not also reinforcing the Burger King/consumerist philosophy of total personalization, that satisfaction comes from precisely tailoring our environment to meet our needs. I’m sure most traditional, teachers would find this mentality foreign, and maybe antithetical to a genuine spiritual path, which tends to be focused on relinquishing personal satisfaction in the name of a greater good.
Without wanting to fully endorse traditional practices, I think there’s some truth there. Doesn’t the real work of spiritual practice require that I also sacrifice my unique, private, distinct, separate, personalized and individualized ego? I wonder if we’ve gone too far in customizing every aspect of life to suit our lifestyles. For example, Integral Life is starting the Integral Spiritual Experience, which requires a 5 year committment! Is this not the opposite of consumer spirituality, where every aspect of the path is optional and customizable and asks almost nothing of us?
January 15th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Looking at spirituality as blissful is not something that has just been putout there by this economic system. The history of “spiritual” pursuits going back to Christ, early yogic masters and others has been one of transendence- moving from this “regular” world to a “higher” or “better” state of consciousness. Moving to bliss, let’s say.
I think the confusion has been throughout the ages, and what is touched on in Tami’s fine post, is what is actually involved in getting from here to there. And, of course, it is just getting from here to here but at a deeper level.
It is impossible to know exactly what it was like to live in other eras but certainly today many spiritual pursuits are needed and utilized as a form of medicine for our minds and hearts in these modern times. In that sense the pursuit of bliss is in keeping with the earlier noted idea of getting out of this world to a “better” other. But it takes, I think for most people, a while on the path to come around to sitting with whatever until it all falls away.
As for spiritual practicing being too individualized it all depends on how it is looked upon. The previous poster asked whether real spiritual work requires sacrificing ” my unique, private, distinct, seperate, personalized and individual ego?” Who in that scenario is doing the sacrificing? Is it not the ego? Is the ego going to sacrifice the ego? No.
I think spiritually, biologically, emotionally we share so much but we are different. We all need to eat but we don’t need to eat the same things. There was a reason the originators of Yoga developed so many systems to pursue - Bhakti, karma, Raja, Hatha etc. different paths for different natures. As for the Integral Studies program not being an example of consumer spirituality, and it may be a great program, the point could be made that requiring a five year commitment is the epitome of consumer spirituality hooking people in for five years.
I have taught yoga, qigong and meditation to people in a cancer hospital for many years. I work with individuals in their rooms. The patients are at all levels of illness some will recover and live long lives others have died in the hospital. But it is in this environment where I have seen and needed to approach people on a totally individual basis. It is here you can see the arrogance of a system. And I don’t mean the hospital system but rather the idea that there is one way to approach people. Well of course there is one way but it is very broad..with respect and love.
All effective paths should lead us to beingness and presence and then they should fall away, if not a path become like a political party one more thing for the ego to identify with.
January 15th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Wow. I don’t remember ever actually reading your personal writing before but it reinforces what I’ve known about you on a personal level and that is that you are doing the work in a couragous way.
Thanks for the blog and the new site!
January 15th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Thank you- enlightenment is also about facing and learning to handle the darkness.
January 15th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
“If after every tempest come such calms,
May the winds blow till they have waken’d death!”
–Shakespeare [Othello, Act II, Sc. I]
Thank you for taking another leap, Tami. I find your blog chock-full of benefits. Keep on writing!
January 16th, 2009 at 12:20 am
“Looking at spirituality as blissful is not something that has just been putout there by this economic system.”
I agree. But it’s hard not to conclude that the intense emphasis on bliss as the final goal of spirituality and the belief in a private individualized spiritual path are a perfect complement to the cultural background of consumerism. (And coincidentally, Protestantism).
I’m sure its possible to read in ancient traditional writings some support for this, but those texts were written for a vastly different cultural situation than what we are facing today. So I think the question of whether our modern interpretation is adequate to the task of helping people wake up is relevant and important. Is maintaining an consumerist mentality toward spiritual practice compatible with making progress? Can a strong lineage of spiritual teachers be sustained on a consumer business model? Should we be concerned about aligning ourselves with a cultural mindset that is a significant contributor to ecological and social disruptions around the world?
“the point could be made that requiring a five year commitment is the epitome of consumer spirituality hooking people in for five years”
My reply is that most churches expect to hook into people for their entire lifetimes! For me, the fact that money changes hands — even large amounts over long periods of time — is not necessarily evidence of a consumerist orientation.
January 17th, 2009 at 4:57 am
To Darren, who wrote in “as an addict”: I think that most of us are addicts in one way or another. I am addicted to working and having a project (a “process addiction” versus a “substance addiction”). Why do I keep myself so busy? What am I running from? You could call it emptiness. The interesting thing is that when I really sit with the feeling of emptiness, it turns into a type of spaciousness that is actually nourishing. When I run from it, I often feel like mad dogs are barking at my heels. When I face the mad dogs and “descend” into the emptiness, I feel whole.
To Mr. Teacup and Drew: An interesting exchange here about the difference between being ego-centered versus being individualistic. This is a topic I feel passionate about. I believe it is critical that we honor that each one of us is a unique, unprecedented being (no one else has our exact physical form, born on such and such date from such and such parents, etc). This means that we are each unique beings with unique contributions to make, and every being is in some sense a mystery (not a known quantity to be put in a pre-made box). I feel strongly about this because I have often felt like someone who does not fit into pre-made boxes (whether those are academic boxes, business boxes, or spiritual boxes), and I want the freedom to be true to my inner life regardless of how strange (or pioneering?) it might appear.
However, I don’t see this honoring of the individual as any kind of reification of the ego. Quite the opposite. When I am coming from ego, it is all about external definitions, about what other people think about me. When I am coming from individualism, it is all about my internal felt sense, about how I can be true to my unique inner callings.
So as you can see, I am a strong fan of individualism which I think is very different from egotism.
To Steve Liuting: Thanks for being in touch and for the kind comments about our new website. Since I know you as a talented web designer, your encouragement here has special meaning.
January 27th, 2009 at 3:14 am
I loved reading Tami’s blog and also love her voice - nice to read the thoughts of The Voice at last.
I notice that it is easier to browse through Sounds True catalogues than to actually do the work. The work means the work I have to do to bloom my unique flower every day.
Now I have a few tools and I would rather do anything than use them! I guess from the awareness you showed in your blog (Tami) that you will be sympathetic to this. I think there is some excuse when I am very tired and just enjoy thinking of the tool that would be the final one that would get me there. But I know it is within me or nowhere. But also know there are helpful teachings and am benefiting particularly from Pema Chodron on your CDs. Do you know of Martin Shaw? Storyteller. I have only read his website but so fascinating and challenging. Would definitely fork out for CDs/ book.
January 28th, 2009 at 2:13 am
Truly the spiritual journey may be said to take many shapes and forms. For me, it has been one of self-designation. By defining who I am unto myself, and making it also the pathway, am I always ‘with my true to sound self’ and ‘with where I am going’.
Thus, the spiritual journey has come to be defined as philosophical, poetic, and artistic.
Now, I am getting places for I am walking ‘with myself’ and ‘with my ever-reaching’.
Blessings, Tami,
Richard of Eire
Rural philosopher-poet-artist
Twitter: @richblessed
January 29th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Ms Simon, I hope you publish your own learning set someday!
January 29th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Tami, thank you for writing, for sharing your thoughts and ideas, and for introducing me to Parker Palmer. That he is able to communicate his condition so accurately to the rest of us, whether we suffer from depression or not, is truly something special. I will use his words the next time I talk with my mom.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:33 am
dear tami, from someone who has lived a really big life, i can totally understand the challenges one faces with worldly success over spiritual success. for me personally, worldly success has been a one dimensional experience, whereas when i decided to put all my focus into investing and listening to that small but empowering voice, it became a multi-dimensional voice, a rich voice that soothes me and comforts me and is a voice that just keeps getting deeper and more profound.
and part of choosing to make my life rich on the inside has led to to make choices that make my worldly life smaller which gives me more room to expand my inner heart. part of the choices i made back in the early 90’s was to listen to some of the people you chose to publish; carolyn myss (spiritual maddness) and the divine eckhart tolle’s works (power of now/even the sun will die/a new earth).
now i am 53 and because of these choices made back in 1993, i am a very rich woman, not measured in my bank account, but in my heart and soul, and i am deeply grateful you made the choice to publish these author’s works. they have made a significant difference in uplifting my consciousness.
In gratitude,
Linda Kordich
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:52 am
Dear,Tami
Maximum Bliss comes from two of your writings:
1-”but would instead be at the bedside with total presence and full heart, neither invasive nor evasive”
2-”We lecture others about our theories of happiness instead of meeting them in their unique experience”
Once there….’Doing’ something about it…allows the release of the Bliss
February 15th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Tami,
Your new site is fantastic, not to mention your founder’s blog. Your work and that of all your colleagues at Sounds True is more impressive than ever. I’ll stay tuned in for more!
Joan Boykin
February 15th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Hello Tami,
thanks for sharing your inspiration. I really like soundstrue, it is a pleasure to come by, browse the products, read, listen,… and to discover this blog.
I agree with Dennis (the one with the first comment on your blog post); I like this specific sentence the most: “We can be fellow travelers instead of salespeople with one-size-fits-all answers”.
Yes! I feel my education & culture nurtured a salesmen in myself. He used to have a big voice inside my mind. Now I`m hearing him more clearly than ever before. A good sign, for this means I can relief him even more through inner lightwork. Thanks for sharing.
Warm regards,
Steven Vrancken
- Lightwork Artist
Bringing light in your life via Lightwork Art
March 4th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Thank you so much for SoundsTrue and for your decision to write. I work for a sales organization, and I am grateful for your insights on marketing your products.
At times, I suffer from such deep resistance, and I am often overcome by it before I return to acceptance.
Thank you for being mindful of not marketing to our grasping minds.
August 6th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
hey that was a great read . Thanks for the great post .Loved every part of it.
August 11th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
i’ve been purchasing s.t. products with eckart tolle lectures and books and live events, but now i see the new tv website with a “subscription” based membership. No doubt the publishers have exploited the idea that many people listen to e.t.’s teachings over and over, and thus to mine the profit potential of that, there is a stream based fee as well as a audio download fee for the same material. Clearly the project is a money making scheme, not a feel good dissemination of e.t.’s teachings to the world for the purpose of enlightenment. I would say now, that is a secondary purpose.
August 29th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I hope this was a very interesting post thanks for writing it
August 29th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
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September 17th, 2009 at 2:39 am
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